Torn
by Faramirlover
Summary: This continues on from the end of the film. Even if you haven't seen the film I would appreciate it if you try the fic, even if it's just to tell me what you think of the writing quality. John/Steven Rated for language and homosexuality.


**A/N**: Hi. This is my first fic in this fandom which is seriously under-written for (Two fics apart from this one I believe. And one is in french). If you haven't seen this film you really should. It's amazing. This is set just at the end of the film, just after Steven has walked away. If you want a brief plot synopsis just PM me.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. If I did the ending would have been a bit different and would have included more kissing.

**Word Count: **812

**Torn**

Steven sighed and dropped himself into the seat beside Linda. He had thought that he would feel free now. Free to be who he wanted to be without having to hide any part of him from other people. But all he could feel was a desperate longing to run back to John's side and be held.

"_And I knew. I really knew… that I've never loved anyone so much."_

Linda noticed his sad expression and reached over to give his knee a sympathetic squeeze before turning the radio up load and accelerating. Aretha Franklin blared out of the speakers as they drove. Linda was obviously hoping that the loud music, upbeat lyrics, and fast speed would distract him but all he could to was sink into the fake leather seats and try not to drown in the memories.

It wasn't until Linda had dropped him off at home and he'd managed to lock himself in his room that he let himself cry. Sure, he'd cried a bit in front of the school. It had been so painful to stand there in front of everyone he knew and tell them that he was gay.

But the worst part of his whole day had been saying goodbye to John. His heart felt like it was ripping in two and all he could do was sob into his pillow. He couldn't be sure but he though his mother might have come in at one point but he was too exhausted to react so she left.

The next day was a Saturday. His mother came to get him downstairs for breakfast but he refused to stir from his bed and she left again muttering that she and his father were going out. Steven didn't know how long it was between them leaving and him getting out of bed. It could have been seconds or days.

He knew he was being pathetic and he needed to get a grip, but he couldn't. Linda came round at one point but he didn't answer the door. When she was gone he perched himself on his windowsill and watched the world passing by, not admitting to himself that he was desperately waiting for Johnny.

Two months passed and eventually the buzz about him died down. He'd only gotten beaten up about a dozen times and there had even been a couple who'd come out as gay. A small part of him was happy that he'd given someone else the confidence to be who they were but at the same time that happy little part died every time he saw Johnny.

He hadn't expected anything from the curly haired sports star but he had hoped that there would be something. Anything. A sign to say that he still loved him. but there was nothing. Not even eye contact.

**OOOOOO**

The bell rang signalling the end of class, snapping Steven out of his daze. He quickly shoved his stuff into his bag and hurried out of the classroom with the rest of his peers. He was almost out of the school door when he was grabbed by his shoulder and spun around. He tensed, expecting some sort of physical attack; sure it was Kevin or someone similar. The arm that slipped around his waist and pulled him close against a familiar hard chest was completely unexpected.

"Johnny. What are you doing?" Steven asked, struggling against the iron grip around his waist.

"No. I don't want to."

"People are staring."

"Let them stare. I don't care."

"You do care. Let me go," Steven struggled again but was virtually powerless to resist the taller boy.

By now a small crowd had formed and was watching on in silence, wondering what was going to happen. Steven could feel their eyes burning into his skin and he was feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

"John! What the hell are you doing with the faggot?"

Kevin and the rest of the gang had arrived and Steven was torn between wanting to flee and wanting to stay locked in Johnny's arms.

"Forgive me? Stay with me?"

For a second the world seemed to stop and it was like there was just the two of them, watching each other, familiarly comfortable and strangely exciting at the same time. And then the world came crashing back.

"The fuck? You're a fag too, John?"

John didn't look away from Steven's face, just nodded slightly.

"I love you, Steve," he whispered lightly.

"I love you too," Steven murmured back, pressing his face into John's shoulder.

"That is disgusting."

Steven felt the vibrations of John's answering laughter.

"Fancy getting out of here?"

"Sure."

Before Steven had a chance to think straight his hand was being grabbed and they were running. He could hear Kevin yelling after them but it didn't matter. All that mattered to him was that he had Johnny. That was enough.

**OOOOOO**

**A/N: **Thanks for reading this. I would love some feedback.


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